I know that I have not been writing for more than two months now.. I know. (Oh, or is it three?)
But here I am again. Writing something for you to read! How kind I am!! lol
August 18, 2025 marked as my first step here in Lund, someone who traveled alone, all the way from Indonesia with distance around 11,700km. So without further ado… It’s just beautiful. Old city vibes.. beautiful buildings.. clean roads.. cobblestone street..Bus, train, tram..
Here are some of the photos I took on my first day here.. and I definitely know you’ll love it 🙂 ❤
Finally arrived at the station!!
I got to find my house key. And so… we got lost around this building! But it’s a beautiful building. Don’t care about how tired and dirty I was due to the long flight lol. I was really amazed at how blue the sky is. How beautiful everything is.
And then we got inside (still got lost) in this Physics building XD
Finally got the key after the adventure XD
On the way to the house…
Look how beautiful the sky is!! I still remember the bluest sky during that summer! ❤
Anddddd.. arrived! My beautiful beautiful first home in Lund!
And look at the second floor’s common room! (I used to live in the second floor).
I still remember my feeling on that day. Tired. But. Still in disbelief. I finally arrived!!!
The sun’s ray. Window. Wind. And a bookshelf with all amazing books! (This is on the left side)
Aaaaand hereeee it isss!!!!
My first sanctuary. My room. My safe space.
Welcome to my room! (I moved out, but that’s another story to tell) 😛
So many feelings. So many thoughts. But I’m alright 🙂
After my previous posts about getting accepted into some universities, I realized I haven’t shared anything, especially about my application to a few others, including some in Sweden. And Thank God, I’ve been accepted too, yay!
You might ask: Why go through the hassle of a Master’s degree? Why Sweden? And how did I get in? Well, that’s what this post is all about.
1. Why pursue a Master’s degree when you’ve already working? Good question! Well, there are a few reasons. First, I want to sharpen and expand my skills. I love my field, but I feel there’s more to understand, especially when it intersects with other disciplines. A Master’s degree gives me space to dive deeper and bridge those gaps. Second, I enjoy working, but there’s always that itch, that feeling that I could be doing more if only I knew more. I’ve realized there’s still things I lack. So here I am, choosing to grow through study again.
2. Why Sweden? Here’s a funfact: I’ve dreamt to study abroad for as long as I can remember. Back in primary school, I even wrote a letter to Emma Watson. (Yes, that Emma Watson, I was a huge Potterhead!) In junior high, I told my mom: Someday, I want to study abroad. So when I started seriously considering postgraduate study, I narrowed down courses that truly aligned with my passions (more on this later 😉). One stood out, a program at Lund University, my top choice. I was especially drawn to it because it sits at the intersection of technology and management, under the School of Economics and Management. It’s a perfect match for what I love and what I want to pursue. And… I GOT IN! 🎉 Right now, I’m in the thick of preparations: paperwork, packing, and all the anxieties that follow. So, fingers crossed and wish me luck 🤞
How to apply for a Master’s in Sweden A quick breakdown of the process:
Apply through Sweden’s central application portal. Create your account on the portal. You can choose up to four programs and rank them based on priority. You will find all information in this portal, including the key dates and what to prepare for your application.
Tip: – Find the program you’re genuinely excited about. – Research each university carefully. – Note all deadlines so you don’t miss anything important.
Submit your documents. Each program might ask for different things. For mine, I had to submit a statement of purpose and an application summary sheet, among other documents. It can be different to your chosen programs.
Tip: – Check the requirement for each program, some may ask for a portfolio or other extras. – Organize everything in one folder and store it online too, so you have access to it on the go.
Pay the application fee. You’ll need to pay the application fee for 900SEK to complete your application. Tip: – Prepare your credit/ international debit card for easier payment.
That’s it for the application process. Now……
Wait for the result At this point, you have successfully submitted your application and now it’s time to wait for the result. The result will be published on both the application portal and your personal email.
So, that’s that! You are in the final stage of your application process. For more information, you can also visit studyinsweden.se. They have tons of helpful resources!
See that tiny note on the top right? The info is tailored to you based on your detected citizenship location—how convenient is that?!!
A little note to those in doubt If you’re stuck in an existential crisis (yes, you’re not alone!), questioning whether a Master’s is the right move, or overwhelmed by the process, here’s my advice: START NOW! You will never feel 100% ready. There will always be “what ifs.” Especially, if you’re an overthinker, INFJ (oh wait, am I just describing myself here?)
If you’re currently preparing your documents, stuck in the application maze, tired of talking to yourself or simply need someone to talk to, drop a comment or message me. I’d love to help 💌 Are you also considering Sweden for your Master’s? Let me know in the comments! I’d be fired up to chat to another fellow overthinker on the same journey.
I’ll be sharing more about my admission results and the next steps in my next post. Until then, stay tuned!
So, to start, I have begun preparing, building up my ‘knowledge’ as I to what pursuing further studies means, as I go. That is, by applying for my Master’s degree.
For those of you who know me (and those who don’t), I am what you might call a mediocre. I graduated in 2018 and have been working as a digital practitioner ever since. Ah, to give you a little backstory, I once dreamed of becoming a diplomat. Or a reporter. Those were two roles that stuck with me, that I still vividly remember, as my dream job(s).
Long short story, my context becomes digitally-themed.
I am an INFJ, someone who constantly searches for meaning, purpose and vision. That applies to my work too. It really gets to me when the context of what I am doing is unclear. It frustrates me when I can’t see what is the bigger picture or the goal behind what I (or my team) are building. Non-transparency irritates me (and everyone as it should!). Lack of clarity isn’t just inconvenient. It’s agonizing.
Now, as I have been working for 5 years (more or less?), I realized that it’s time for me to amplify my skills, knowledge, and enhance my capacity. Not just technically, but holistically. For me, one way to do that is through pursuing a Master’s degree. As time goes on, I keep asking myself: What do I want to learn? What are the fields that I want to understand more? What do I want to do? And mind you, this process of self-understanding is a never-ending journey. You keep discovering new, intriguing things about yourself which most of it are annoying, but they’re part of you. So yeah. Hahaha.
All I know is, I want to become who’s truly good at what she does, someone who can make a real impact. Maybe, just maybe, I’m already partway there. But I know that I need to amplify myself.. holistically. I need to keep finding myself. And that might mean pushing myself to the limit into unfamiliar territory, diving deep into difficult topics I care about, in a language that is not even my own. “But even in doubt, especially when you’re so full of self-doubt, when you can’t seem to believe in yourself, just take the step” – I keep reminding myself.
Bonus photo: Letter of Acceptances with censorship for personal details 😉
University of Leeds:
University of Auckland:
The University of Melbourne:
So… where would she go?
She doesn’t have the full map yet. But she knows she wants to walk with intention. To grow deeper in her field. To chase clarity, purpose, and impact. Not just in her career, but in herself.
Maybe she’ll end up somewhere entirely unexpected. Maybe she’ll circle back to old dreams: diplomacy, storytelling, or, something in between. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s already on the right path, and the Master’s degree is just another lens to see it more clearly? To see the purpose from different perspectives but so much clearer?
Where would she go?
I believe she’ll go forward. With doubt in one pocket, and hope in the other.
For those of you who know (and don’t know) me.. I am a massive fan of great movies. And when I say great movies, I really mean it.
Oftentimes, what may seem like a usual movie for some people can be an extraordinary movie for me – then again, it all based on one’s perspective. And mood! Mood plays a big role. Your mood when you’re watching movie obviously influences how you perceive it. But with truly great movies, even when I am not in the mood, it’s like I’m under a spell – I pay attention, even to the tiniest details.
And I stumbled upon a movie: Only Yesterday by Studio Ghibli. If you’re in the mood for a relatable, slow-paced film and you feel that a little emotional hug won’t hurt, go for this one guys! It is a 90’s masterpiece *brb crying* and the fact that it was released in 1991!
The story is quite simple. Taeko Okajima is on her way from Tokyo to Yamagata. During the train ride, she recalls some memories from her 10-year-old self, back when she was in primary school. These flashbacks, expand from her life as the youngest child, her school days, her first love, and her coming-of-age moments. It’s all simple, yet heartwarming at the same time.
Taeko is the youngest of three sisters. She is very cute and talented, but unfortunately, she’s had to rely on herself from the beginning. She is curious, but no one pays much attention to her questions. She doesn’t like certain things, but she is told not to be picky and to just accept whatever is given. Meanwhile, her sisters seem to be just… fine.
Let me share some of my favorite scenes from the movie:
The countryside trip When she was young, all of her friends were going to countryside in Japan during the holiday. She asked her mother if she could go too. I remember her mother’s response “We don’t have relatives in the country, so don’t ask.” At first, it seemed like a normal scene – parents simply saying no to something they couldn’t provide. But it stuck with me.
The pineapple Her father once bought a pineapple – something unfamiliar to them at the time. They kept it until one day, her mother came home and and they sliced it up. As excited as everyone was, most of the family did not like the taste (maybe because pineapple can be a bit sour). Taeko, who had always been told not to be picky, forced herself to eat it even though she did not like it too much as well. And since no one else wanted theirs, they gave their portions to Taeko. She eats it all.
The math class In school, she once got a low grade for math, specifically on fraction division. Her mother was speechless because it was supposed to be an easy topic. Her mother told her to study with her sister. Taeko wanted to learn from her eldest sister, Nanako, but since Nanako was not home yet, she had to learn from Yaeko. Yaeko was very… fussy. Also shocked about Taeko’s grade, Yaeko tried to teach her the method to solve the Math problem. Being curious as Taeko is, she asked about the concept behind the method. But Yaeko could not explain it:
Yaeko: Sit.
Yaeko: Say your times table from the top.
Taeko: I know that. I’m in fifth grade already!
Yaeko: Then why so many mistakes?
Taeko: It’s dividing fractions.
Yaeko: Just flip the top and the bottom and multiply.
Yaeko: They taught you that, right?
Yaeko: Then why do you get it wrong?
Taeko: Yaeko, one step at a time.
Taeko: What’s dividing a fraction by a fraction anyway?
Taeko: Two-thirds of an apple divided by a quarter means…
Taeko: How this would be divided among four people, right?
Taeko: So, it’s one, two, three, four, five, six…
Taeko: one-sixth each, right?
Yaeko: No, no, no, no. That’s multiplication.
Taeko: How come it’s less when you multiply?
Taeko: Two-thirds of an apple divided by a quarter…
Yaeko: Forget about apples.
Yaeko: Just remember to invert and multiply.
And the conversation between Nanako, Yaeko, and Mother:
Mother: If she got half right, it’d be worth scolding her.
Yaeko: Right.
Nanako: Should you get her IQ checked?
Mother: They said it was fine when she started.
Yaeko: Maybe she turned dumb?
Nanako: Remember she fell down the stairs as a baby?
Yaeko: Right, in her walker!
Yaeko: I thought she was dead.
Mother: It was just a bump.
Nanako: It’s affecting her now.
Yaeko: That’s it!
Mother: Nonsense. She’s just no good at math.
When she was young, her class had a drama session. Taeko improvised during the performance and she was great (she really was, guys! you’d expect her teacher to say so). Instead, her teacher said “Very good everyone. But let’s stick to the script.” *smiling in bitterness*. Apparently, after the play, a university student came to Taeko’s house to speak with her mother. The student invited Taeko to join a town event as part of the cast. Taeko, overheard the conversation, was overjoyed. She started herself becoming a child star one day. During dinner, the family excitedly talked about the invitation until:
Taeko’s Father: Acting is out.
Taeko’s Father: Show business people are no good.
Nanako: “Show business”… Don’t exaggerate…
Taeko’s Mother: That’s right. It’s…
Takeo’s Father: I said no.
And when Taeko’s friend, Aoki, got to play the part instead,
Taeko: Aoki’s going to play the part instead.
Taeko’s Mother: I see.
Taeko: She’s boasting to everyone.
Taeko’s Mother: I see.
Taeko: Today her mom met her at school to get her changed into a fancy dress.
Taeko: A frilly thing out to here…
Taeko’s Mother: Taeko?
Taeko’s Mother: Don’t tell anyone you got the first offer.
Taeko’s Mother: Because that would hurt Aoki very much.
Taeko’s Mother: Do you understand?
Taeko’s Mother: Do you understand?
How could we avoid hurting Aoki’s heart, yet end up hurting Taeko’s instead?
And the list goes on and on and on – to the point where it becomes ironic 🙂
Beside, There are also some cute and sweet parts that will remind you of your 10-year-old self. One sweet scene is when 10-year-old Taeko, on her way home, meets Hirota :
Hirota: Rainy days, cloudy days, sunny days… which do you like?
Taeko: …cloudy days.
Hirota: Oh, then we’re alike.
It’s a simple scene but there, it will make your heart go mushy with a smile on your face 🙂
Eventually, our Taeko is extremely enjoying her time in Yamagata. Oh, and also, our Taeko gets her happy ending with Toshio, not with her first love Hirota-kun, as you might have imagined in your head haha.
But in the journey of giving her heart to Toshio, there was Taeko and her life reminiscence. There was a journey when of remembering why she became who she is – Taeko. And as written in Ghibli’s site: The key to Taeko’s future, lies in her past. In the final scene, where she rides in a car with Toshio, her 10-year-old self appears alongside her. It shows that Taeko is with Taeko. Her younger self never left. The younger Taeko embraces the present Taeko, giving her and walking alongside her to accept her future self.
In one way or another, we will have questions for ourselves when heading into the future. In making decisions. In weighing A or B. In choosing ourselves. Self-discovery is not easy. Understanding ourselves doesn’t happen with the snap of a finger. Accepting ourselves is a journey..
And as we walk through this journey, will we make peace with our younger selves? will our younger selves embrace us? will our younger selves release us to become our future selves? will the 10-year-old version of us look at us and smile?
I hope they hold our hand, embrace us with a smile, and keep saying that they never leave – and never will ❤︎
Akhir-akhir ini gue lagi berpikir tentang korelasi antara packing dan closed-minded. Menurut gue, dua hal ini cukup berhubungan. Pertanyaannya cukup simple dan kalo gue tarik ke diri sendiri: kenapa ya gue suka excessive kalo packing?
Kalo pertanyaan ini cukup relate, menurut gue jawabannya biasanya adalah karena ada perasaan cemas kalau-kalau baju atau barang yang dibawa ga akan cukup selama perjalanan. Kadang, kita udah tau kalau nanti akan memungkinkan untuk bajunya dicuci tapi tetep aja bawa berlebih. Atau kadang, semua udah masuk koper, tapi ada satu atau dua barang yang entah kenapa harus diselipin masuk koper lagi karena lebih ngerasa aman aja gitu kalau barang itu ikutan dibawa. Selain koper, biasanya masih bawa ransel yang cukup berat (biasanya isinya laptop atau gadget hehe).
Dan sering, tas yang berat ini ga diletakin. Disandang aja gitu padahal bahu atau tangan sebenernya udah sakit.
Salahkah? Engga. Tapi kenapa, ya?
Menurut gue, ini merupakan satu contoh kalau manusia itu cenderung bertindak berdasarkan emosi. Rasa aman ini adalah emosi yang sebenernya ga terbukti juga. Dengan gue tidak bawa baju lebih misalnya, gue seengganya udah ngelakuin 3 hal:
Bawa beban lebih ringan
Ga harus effort lebih untuk inget semua barang yang gue bawa (karena 40% dari itu bisa aja ga gue pake juga)
Menghindarkan gue dari sakit tangan dan bahu
Tiga hal positif ini sebenernya udah cukup menjadi pengingat bahwa sebaiknya gue gausah bawa barang berlebih kalo perjalanan, kan. Tapi, gue tetep mentingin emosi gue yang bilang “bawa barang lebih banyak = lebih aman”, padahal bahu gue jadinya sakit.
Berhubung gue sedang dalam perjalanan dinas ke luar kota, sebelum berangkat gue mulai nerapin “efisiensi” ini. Gue bawa baju/ barang secukupnya dan ternyata gue ngerasa lebih ringan, lebih nyaman bahkan sebenernya gue bisa bawa lebih sedikit lagi. Jadi kenapa selama ini gue bawa barang berat-berat, ya?
Ini, menurut gue adalah salah satu bentuk manifestasi dari close-mindedness itu sendiri, yaitu (minjem kalimat ChatGPT) ‘ketidakmampuan melepaskan kontrol’. Gue takut ngerasa ‘tidak aman’, perasaan yang sebenernya adalah tidak pasti dan ga perlu untuk ditakutin.
Matthew 28: I will be with you always, even until the end of the world(CEV).
Here’s to open-mindedness & to be more of an essentialist.
Setelah sekian lama gue pengen punya blog atau personal page, akhirnya, here it is.
Sebenernya dulu udah pernah ada, cuma entah kenapa gue gapernah rajin untuk maintain, ga pernah rajin nulis.
Namun, setelah sering berkonflik dengan diri sendiri dalam quarter life crisis atau fase pencarian jati diri ini, gue mutusin untuk rajin nulis sekaligus belajar nulis. Momen refleksi pribadi gitu kadang juga bikin pikiran mumet, kan. Daripada makin overthinking, kayaknya mending dituangin dalam bentuk tulisan. Itung-itung biar penyampaian ide gue bisa lebih baik ya hahaha.
unfiltered 